Jaundice for dummies!!!

I am known for my dates with diseases. The latest one was a colourful one! believe me it does not feel as good as it sounds. I decided to provide some gyan on this, may be even clear some common misconceptions. The world knows i love lists! so here goes one more,
1. On a serious note, jaundice is not a disease its a symptom!
2. To all the Kiss fans, yellow eyes are not "kweooolll"!!
3. You will not have any energy to do anything. Sitting is a tiring activity during this period.uff!!!
4. All the diet conscious freaks, take notes, you need to have fat-free diet, not the atkins!!!
5. Alcohol, nicotine, marijuana or any other thing which makes you feel good is a complete no-no!
6. NO!! "yellow" by Coldplay and "yellow submarine" by the Beatles were not dedicated to jaundice!!
7. None of the characters in The Simpsons are suffering from jaundice. Portraying it would be tough though!!
8. Beneficiaries from jaundice include anti-itch cream manufactures, prickly heat powder makers and the lotion section of the cosmetics industry. Yes, in case you dint know your whole body will be itching!! So be prepared for some blood-stained sheets after a night of scratching.(sounds gross!!!)
9. Other beneficiaries include fresh fruit vendors and juice makers, sugarcane farmers, sugarcane juice makers, companies manufacturing juicers, producers of "fat free" stuff and of course doctors, hospitals and the pharmaceutical industry. We do have a significant impact on the economy!
10. Be prepared for some surprises in the toilet. I wont elaborate on this as i like to leave some excitement. Also i avoid the description in the interest of the public!
These pointers might have given you an insight of the disease. So try it out, GO YELLOW n' BE MELLOW!!!**
**[Official slogan of the United Nations Council for Jaundice(UNCJ). Unauthorized reproduction will result in legal action]