Its late February or early March.
Location: Kodak Theater, Los Angeles CA.
The red carpet is out. Flashes from the camera are bringing glitter to the event. Its the Academy Awards. Its almost the end on the event.
On the stage, dressed in a black Louis Voutton tux and matching sunglasses is Jack Nicholson. Accompanying him in a navy blue Yves saint lauren is Sandra Bullock. They are here to announce the award for the best actor.
Sandra(Opening the envelope): You nervous jack?
Jack( peeping into the envelope): Nervous no! excited yes!
Sandra( handing over the envelope): Why dont you do the honors?
Jack(receiving the envelope with his signature grin): ah! my pleasure.
Jack: And the oscar for best actor goes to...what the!(astonished)
Sandra(trying to bring in emotion): you ok jack??
Jack(Perplexed): I think i have finally flown over the cuckoos nest!!!
Sandra( In a "im so cool" way): Gimme that you old bloke!!
Sandra: what the!!!
Sandra: I dint know Iron Maiden was into movies!!
Jack: Yo! miss confusiality!!
Jack: This is my limelight..let me do the honors!!
Sandra: I have never heard of him!!
Jack:If you making movies like 'The Proposal', you will forget who you are!
Jack: Ladies and gentlemen...
Sandra(scratching her hair like dirty Harriet): But i cant believe this..
Jack: Shut up!!
Jack: Sorry for the disturbance..where was I?
Sandra: Ladies and gentlemen
Jack: OH! Ladies and gentlemen...for his excellent emotional role..this years Oscar, for the best male actor goes to..none other than Yeddiurappa!! ..Did i pronounce that right?
* Applause, Screams etc *
Jack: Come over here yeddy!!!
Yeddy dressed in all white comes to the stage. In true hindutva style touches the feet of Jack and hugs and kisses Sandra.
Yeddy: I have no words. I am as happy as i was when i had my lunch at a poor village.(wiping tears)(with a white napkin)I would like to thank the investors of Bangalore, I would especially like to thank Santosh Hegede for giving me this opportunity. I would like to thank my parents, my fellow citizens (wiping more tears) and reddy without whom i would not be here..thank thank you...(leaves the stage)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wrong men in Paradise.
The United states of America( referred to as US , USA or "them" from here )is playing in the football world cup 2010!! Oh! sorry in case they dont understand it, its soccer. The Big brother has finally started to play the worlds most popular game,somehow moving away from the sports where heavily-armoured titan like humans clash around on grass or ice!!
But there were certain aspects which shows how new they are to the beautiful game.Here goes the list.
1. The stadium in Johannesburg has a design of an African pot.The outside of the stadium is designed to have the appearance of an African cooking pot. Our American counterparts thought this was the "Super Bowl"!!!!!!
2.When US scored their accidental goal against England (thanks to Mr Green; Comic fans, i am not referring to the Hulk!), American fans were heard shouting things like "home run" and "touchdown".
3. The US coach Bob Bradley was seen asking for timeouts during a game!!
4. The South African press reported that the American fans were disappointed at the absence of cheergirls and leaders!! ( imagine the state of those girls in a match ,if they have to dance once or twice, or may be never! )
5.American fans were awestruck not to see any wide-mouthed, tongue swaying Budweiser commercials!
6. The opening ceremony and the pre-opening party of the 2010 FIFA world cup was telecast in the US with a PG-17/Adult rating!you ask why? Their fear of wardrobe malfunction has not gone. Thank you Janet and Justin!
Well these are some of the blunders by the Americans! But come on! You cant blame them , they are know for blunders! Iraq, gulf of Mexico, Bhopal, Hiroshima,Vietnam, declaration of independence...blunders overflow in their history!! So lets forgive, forget and enjoy the beautiful game ,Football (NOT soccer!!!)
But there were certain aspects which shows how new they are to the beautiful game.Here goes the list.
1. The stadium in Johannesburg has a design of an African pot.The outside of the stadium is designed to have the appearance of an African cooking pot. Our American counterparts thought this was the "Super Bowl"!!!!!!
2.When US scored their accidental goal against England (thanks to Mr Green; Comic fans, i am not referring to the Hulk!), American fans were heard shouting things like "home run" and "touchdown".
3. The US coach Bob Bradley was seen asking for timeouts during a game!!
4. The South African press reported that the American fans were disappointed at the absence of cheergirls and leaders!! ( imagine the state of those girls in a match ,if they have to dance once or twice, or may be never! )
5.American fans were awestruck not to see any wide-mouthed, tongue swaying Budweiser commercials!
6. The opening ceremony and the pre-opening party of the 2010 FIFA world cup was telecast in the US with a PG-17/Adult rating!you ask why? Their fear of wardrobe malfunction has not gone. Thank you Janet and Justin!
Well these are some of the blunders by the Americans! But come on! You cant blame them , they are know for blunders! Iraq, gulf of Mexico, Bhopal, Hiroshima,Vietnam, declaration of independence...blunders overflow in their history!! So lets forgive, forget and enjoy the beautiful game ,Football (NOT soccer!!!)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Neo-Tourism
ABC travels, a premier global travel agency brings to you a set of new travel deals! Never before seen/visited/experienced offers!! Here is a preview!
1. A Deep fry in the Gulf of Mexico : Yes, with so much oil in it, its not sun bathing but you can get yourself deep fried! Kids can enjoy building black sand castles, plus you can refill your vehicles fuel supply! Its the smoothest (and the most slippery) beach holiday you will ever have!! ( SMS "Black Gold" to 5555 for exciting offers)
2. Smoke Sailing in Iceland: Are you bored of just driving through smoke in Bangalore and mumbai? Do you yearn for more? Look no further , because ABC brings to you sailing in the smoke!! you can para-sail or sail in the thick smoke around iceland! ( SMS "Choke" to 5555 for smoking hot deals)
3. Wife Hunting with Zuma : All you extrovert wanderers out there! pack you bags as you heed the call from South Africa. Jacob Zuma wants more! You get a chance to meet the president, roam around in the game country waiting and searching for his majesty's next better half, or should we say better 1/4! ( SMS "waka waka" to 5555. caution:Football fever is on, so you might get your balls kicked! pun intended)
4. Road to In-solvento : Gracias Amigos!! Las Vegas beckons you to become a "broke"r! Don worry you wont fracture any bones, but throw away your money at the casinos and go pauper!!its a once in a life time experience! bankruptcy is in vogue!! Take Greece for example.. ( SMS "lehman" to 5555 for credit facilities)
SO backpackers and hitch hikers its time to "move on" again! St Augustine said "the world is a book and those who dont travel read only one page", well if you dont travel with ABC, you will also miss the exciting ending, a autographed hard bound edition and the photo shoot with the author of the book!!! By the way who is the author??? Never mind! Call us at 1800-23-456WTF.
1. A Deep fry in the Gulf of Mexico : Yes, with so much oil in it, its not sun bathing but you can get yourself deep fried! Kids can enjoy building black sand castles, plus you can refill your vehicles fuel supply! Its the smoothest (and the most slippery) beach holiday you will ever have!! ( SMS "Black Gold" to 5555 for exciting offers)
2. Smoke Sailing in Iceland: Are you bored of just driving through smoke in Bangalore and mumbai? Do you yearn for more? Look no further , because ABC brings to you sailing in the smoke!! you can para-sail or sail in the thick smoke around iceland! ( SMS "Choke" to 5555 for smoking hot deals)
3. Wife Hunting with Zuma : All you extrovert wanderers out there! pack you bags as you heed the call from South Africa. Jacob Zuma wants more! You get a chance to meet the president, roam around in the game country waiting and searching for his majesty's next better half, or should we say better 1/4! ( SMS "waka waka" to 5555. caution:Football fever is on, so you might get your balls kicked! pun intended)
4. Road to In-solvento : Gracias Amigos!! Las Vegas beckons you to become a "broke"r! Don worry you wont fracture any bones, but throw away your money at the casinos and go pauper!!its a once in a life time experience! bankruptcy is in vogue!! Take Greece for example.. ( SMS "lehman" to 5555 for credit facilities)
SO backpackers and hitch hikers its time to "move on" again! St Augustine said "the world is a book and those who dont travel read only one page", well if you dont travel with ABC, you will also miss the exciting ending, a autographed hard bound edition and the photo shoot with the author of the book!!! By the way who is the author??? Never mind! Call us at 1800-23-456WTF.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A Thought....
Q. There are no script writers in AXN. why?
A. Actions speak louder than words!!!
But...the pen is mightier than the sword...
A. Actions speak louder than words!!!
But...the pen is mightier than the sword...
THIRD EYE!
All my photoblogs will be titled the same. Variety might be the spice in life, but you wont recognize variety unless there is some monotony. This photo was taken beside the oriental research institute in mysore.
THIRD EYE!
My attempt at photography. Its like my third eye! just coincides with the fact that i have been named after shiva 's abode!!! this is the DC office in mysore. All you comic fans out there! DC office is the district commissioners office , NOT where batman comics are printed!!!
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