Three wheels, a clicking meter and terrified people. No! i am not talking about a John Woo movie! Its our very own autorikshaws of Bangalore ( Geek Trivia 101- autorikshaw is not related to George Bernard Shaw). One ride on this tri-wheeled t-rex, through the busy streets of Bangalore is enough for anyone to agree with the list below. So take a deep breath and hold on to your seats!
10 Things You CANNOT Do When You Are Sitting In An Auto in Bangalore!
1. Relax and not Panic.
2. Try not think about your Life insurance policy
3. Wish the red light turn green in a traffic stop.
4. Teach your kids Traffic rules. Even better take a class on traffic awareness.
5. Solve the following problem: Construct an equilateral triangle with each side measuring 5cm and circumscribe a circle. Also draw a tangent to the the circle and find out the angle at which it intersects the extended base line of the triangle.
6. Play the Jaltarang!!
7. Put a thread through a needle.
8. Ask a rabbi to perform a circumcision.
9. Use words such as "Chill", "Cool", "Peace" etc
10. Perform a dissection on a Drosophylla Larvae!!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Italian Supremacy....
Italians always manage to be in the news. Be it a front page side column in a leading daily or just some airtime in the sports section of BBC, Italy will be there. The current Prime Minister of Italy Mr Berrlusconi makes sure this trend wont go off. His scandals and high profile girlfriends give him a prominent spot in any one of the news channels.
Mr B is the longest serving head of a G8 country. This is not an easy task. One might wonder if Italy would find a successor with the same qualities? The answer is YES! We have many, so many that i can make a list! Well what else am i good at? So here goes A list of the 5 most eligible successors for the prime ministers office of Italy!
1. Tiger Woods- The Sports illustrated golfer of the year gets the number one position. In comparison he is better than B, more efficient!
2. Shane Warne- Well dirty language, locker room romps and a funky hair style to match, can Italy ignore him??
3. Kobe Bryant- Dunking his way to the third spot is the 2009 MVP!! He plans to rename the office as "Room 35"!
4. Shakti Kapoor- Uff!! finally someone to break the list of hormonally challenged sportsmen! Shakti casts his couch to the number 4 spot. The hair, the shades and the bling, some people just have it all!!
5. Shiney Ahuja- You bet bollywood leaves a mark everywhere!! If the Italian electorate consiststed a majority of maidens, no, maids , shiney would definitely be a fore runner in the race to the office!!
Well some concerned readers asked me how i could miss out Donald Trump? Well he couldnt make it to the list as he was, no he is busy competing with the French counterpart Mr Sarkoszy!! So let the Azzurie flag fly high!! ( This post was written with a feverent hope that none of the readers belong to the mafia!!!)
Mr B is the longest serving head of a G8 country. This is not an easy task. One might wonder if Italy would find a successor with the same qualities? The answer is YES! We have many, so many that i can make a list! Well what else am i good at? So here goes A list of the 5 most eligible successors for the prime ministers office of Italy!
1. Tiger Woods- The Sports illustrated golfer of the year gets the number one position. In comparison he is better than B, more efficient!
2. Shane Warne- Well dirty language, locker room romps and a funky hair style to match, can Italy ignore him??
3. Kobe Bryant- Dunking his way to the third spot is the 2009 MVP!! He plans to rename the office as "Room 35"!
4. Shakti Kapoor- Uff!! finally someone to break the list of hormonally challenged sportsmen! Shakti casts his couch to the number 4 spot. The hair, the shades and the bling, some people just have it all!!
5. Shiney Ahuja- You bet bollywood leaves a mark everywhere!! If the Italian electorate consiststed a majority of maidens, no, maids , shiney would definitely be a fore runner in the race to the office!!
Well some concerned readers asked me how i could miss out Donald Trump? Well he couldnt make it to the list as he was, no he is busy competing with the French counterpart Mr Sarkoszy!! So let the Azzurie flag fly high!! ( This post was written with a feverent hope that none of the readers belong to the mafia!!!)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Divine Diseases!
My obsession with diseases has inspired me to write one more blog. This blog lists the probable ailments/diseases the "gods"/"demons" would be diagnosed with. ( If anyone is offended please do not panic, kumbh mela is not far away!!)
1. Ganapathi - Spondylities: Balancing an elephant head on a human spine and neck is hard work!
2. Vishnu- Possible bed sores: Seldom do you see him upright!
3. Shiva- Pneumonia: Sitting stark naked in near freezing temperatures, what else did he expect??
4. Krishna- AIDS : 16000 wives, need i have to say more?
5. Varaha- Swine flu: No explanation needed for this!
6. Matsya- Minimata disease!
7. Jesus- Tetanus: Impaled by unsterilized nails...thou shalt suffer!!!
8. Parashurama- High blood Pressure: Anger is said to take a toll on BP.
9. Narasimha- Hypertrichosis: Where do you think the mane came from??
10. Indra- Neuro muscular disorder: playing with lightning affected his neurons.
11. Brahma: Dissociative identity disorder: 3 heads+ 3minds= trouble!!
12. Bakasura: Peptic ulcer: eat, but never overeat.
13. Nandi- Foot and mouth disease.
14. Vamana- Pituitary Dwarfism.
15. Vayu/pavana- Indigestion: breaking wind!
Well I think that will keep Dhanvantri busy for quite some time. Wish them all a speedy recovery!! Peace!
1. Ganapathi - Spondylities: Balancing an elephant head on a human spine and neck is hard work!
2. Vishnu- Possible bed sores: Seldom do you see him upright!
3. Shiva- Pneumonia: Sitting stark naked in near freezing temperatures, what else did he expect??
4. Krishna- AIDS : 16000 wives, need i have to say more?
5. Varaha- Swine flu: No explanation needed for this!
6. Matsya- Minimata disease!
7. Jesus- Tetanus: Impaled by unsterilized nails...thou shalt suffer!!!
8. Parashurama- High blood Pressure: Anger is said to take a toll on BP.
9. Narasimha- Hypertrichosis: Where do you think the mane came from??
10. Indra- Neuro muscular disorder: playing with lightning affected his neurons.
11. Brahma: Dissociative identity disorder: 3 heads+ 3minds= trouble!!
12. Bakasura: Peptic ulcer: eat, but never overeat.
13. Nandi- Foot and mouth disease.
14. Vamana- Pituitary Dwarfism.
15. Vayu/pavana- Indigestion: breaking wind!
Well I think that will keep Dhanvantri busy for quite some time. Wish them all a speedy recovery!! Peace!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Early Edition
How lucky am I?? I just got an early edition on the newspaper, dated 12/12/2019!! As you, no let me change that as everybody knows I am not a selfish guy ( I am not into shellfish, tuna and sardines are my kind), so i share the news bulletin of the future with you!!
Center declares statehood for Munbaikars.
New Delhi/Mumbai: The central government on Tuesday decided to give statehood to mumbai. The decision was taken after indefinite hunger strike by Sena supremo bal thackrey, who has been on life support for the past 4 years in Lelavathi hospital. India now has 47 states and 22 union territories.
UN demands report on carbon emission levels from all countries.
New York: The UN has demanded a report on the levels of green house gas emissions by the countries which took part in the Copenhagen conference of 2009. A report stated that the global temperature was still on rise. This demand has been put out in a crucial time when the countries of the world are preparing for the Climate Changed Conference scheduled to be held in Geneva in the month of January next year.
Mobile-CAT successful in spite of a few glitches.
New Delhi: The Common Admission Test for the premier management institutes was a success in spite of a few glitches, reports PTI. Some students were not able to connect the call due to a network problem. Some missed call were also registered at the CAT call center. A few prank calls created panic among some students, who reported the same to the CAT cell. The al-queda claimed responsibility to the Rakhi sawant MMS clip which some students got instead of the question paper. The center however rejected the claim as they believed al-queda would not indulge in such petty offenses!
Brangelina adopt their 15th child.
Beverly hills/LA: The celebrity couple of Angelina jolie and Brad Pitt have added one more child to their brood of cosmopolitan childern. They have adopted Kaannise, a 2 month old masai orphan. The UN human rights commission has sent a notice to Brangelina regarding visa and labour problems. However Stockholm is planning to award the couple a Nobel prize, the category is yet to be decided between Medicine and Economics!!!!!!!!
US and Austria sign N-deal with the help of Indian scientists.
Vienna: Austria and The US inked a historic civilian nuclear deal. The nuclear deal is supported by the scientists of India as agreed in the Indo-sino-US-Brazil-peru-somalian nuclear deal!! US President Arnold Schwarzenegger told media that he was extremely happy to lend a hand to his homeland. In his joint press release with his Austrian counterpart Wolfgang Mozart , he emotionally said " I'll be BARC!!!!!!".
In other news
US to send 40000 more troops to Madagascar.
Sachin Tendulkar retired from first class cricket. Says he will work for gully cricket.
Pratiba Patil becomes the first 90 year old to bungee jump from the Qutab minar, run a triathlon and take part in a burger eating competetion!
WHO declares Raccoon flu a pandemic.
Microsoft releases French Windows 13. Its concentrating on niche markets.
Well thats it!! I have given a glimpse of the future. It looks bright and shiny to me. Peace!!
Center declares statehood for Munbaikars.
New Delhi/Mumbai: The central government on Tuesday decided to give statehood to mumbai. The decision was taken after indefinite hunger strike by Sena supremo bal thackrey, who has been on life support for the past 4 years in Lelavathi hospital. India now has 47 states and 22 union territories.
UN demands report on carbon emission levels from all countries.
New York: The UN has demanded a report on the levels of green house gas emissions by the countries which took part in the Copenhagen conference of 2009. A report stated that the global temperature was still on rise. This demand has been put out in a crucial time when the countries of the world are preparing for the Climate Changed Conference scheduled to be held in Geneva in the month of January next year.
Mobile-CAT successful in spite of a few glitches.
New Delhi: The Common Admission Test for the premier management institutes was a success in spite of a few glitches, reports PTI. Some students were not able to connect the call due to a network problem. Some missed call were also registered at the CAT call center. A few prank calls created panic among some students, who reported the same to the CAT cell. The al-queda claimed responsibility to the Rakhi sawant MMS clip which some students got instead of the question paper. The center however rejected the claim as they believed al-queda would not indulge in such petty offenses!
Brangelina adopt their 15th child.
Beverly hills/LA: The celebrity couple of Angelina jolie and Brad Pitt have added one more child to their brood of cosmopolitan childern. They have adopted Kaannise, a 2 month old masai orphan. The UN human rights commission has sent a notice to Brangelina regarding visa and labour problems. However Stockholm is planning to award the couple a Nobel prize, the category is yet to be decided between Medicine and Economics!!!!!!!!
US and Austria sign N-deal with the help of Indian scientists.
Vienna: Austria and The US inked a historic civilian nuclear deal. The nuclear deal is supported by the scientists of India as agreed in the Indo-sino-US-Brazil-peru-somalian nuclear deal!! US President Arnold Schwarzenegger told media that he was extremely happy to lend a hand to his homeland. In his joint press release with his Austrian counterpart Wolfgang Mozart , he emotionally said " I'll be BARC!!!!!!".
In other news
US to send 40000 more troops to Madagascar.
Sachin Tendulkar retired from first class cricket. Says he will work for gully cricket.
Pratiba Patil becomes the first 90 year old to bungee jump from the Qutab minar, run a triathlon and take part in a burger eating competetion!
WHO declares Raccoon flu a pandemic.
Microsoft releases French Windows 13. Its concentrating on niche markets.
Well thats it!! I have given a glimpse of the future. It looks bright and shiny to me. Peace!!
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