Early Edition

How lucky am I?? I just got an early edition on the newspaper, dated 12/12/2019!! As you, no let me change that as everybody knows I am not a selfish guy ( I am not into shellfish, tuna and sardines are my kind), so i share the news bulletin of the future with you!!

Center declares statehood for Munbaikars.
New Delhi/Mumbai: The central government on Tuesday decided to give statehood to mumbai. The decision was taken after indefinite hunger strike by Sena supremo bal thackrey, who has been on life support for the past 4 years in Lelavathi hospital. India now has 47 states and 22 union territories.


UN demands report on carbon emission levels from all countries.
New York: The UN has demanded a report on the levels of green house gas emissions by the countries which took part in the Copenhagen conference of 2009. A report stated that the global temperature was still on rise. This demand has been put out in a crucial time when the countries of the world are preparing for the Climate Changed Conference scheduled to be held in Geneva in the month of January next year.

Mobile-CAT successful in spite of a few glitches.
New Delhi: The Common Admission Test for the premier management institutes was a success in spite of a few glitches, reports PTI. Some students were not able to connect the call due to a network problem. Some missed call were also registered at the CAT call center. A few prank calls created panic among some students, who reported the same to the CAT cell. The al-queda claimed responsibility to the Rakhi sawant MMS clip which some students got instead of the question paper. The center however rejected the claim as they believed al-queda would not indulge in such petty offenses!

Brangelina adopt their 15th child.
Beverly hills/LA: The celebrity couple of Angelina jolie and Brad Pitt have added one more child to their brood of cosmopolitan childern. They have adopted Kaannise, a 2 month old masai orphan. The UN human rights commission has sent a notice to Brangelina regarding visa and labour problems. However Stockholm is planning to award the couple a Nobel prize, the category is yet to be decided between Medicine and Economics!!!!!!!!

US and Austria sign N-deal with the help of Indian scientists.
Vienna: Austria and The US inked a historic civilian nuclear deal. The nuclear deal is supported by the scientists of India as agreed in the Indo-sino-US-Brazil-peru-somalian nuclear deal!! US President Arnold Schwarzenegger told media that he was extremely happy to lend a hand to his homeland. In his joint press release with his Austrian counterpart Wolfgang Mozart , he emotionally said " I'll be BARC!!!!!!".

In other news
US to send 40000 more troops to Madagascar.
Sachin Tendulkar retired from first class cricket. Says he will work for gully cricket.
Pratiba Patil becomes the first 90 year old to bungee jump from the Qutab minar, run a triathlon and take part in a burger eating competetion!
WHO declares Raccoon flu a pandemic.
Microsoft releases French Windows 13. Its concentrating on niche markets.

Well thats it!! I have given a glimpse of the future. It looks bright and shiny to me. Peace!!