Paper Priorities

6:00 PM, Newspaper Bureau.
Editor: "Get me the front page! we cant be late today, it has to go to print by 7"
Sub-ed 1: (Shouts from his cubicle) " I got all the stories sir, call a meeting we will start off the design"
Editor: (Screams) Advertisement Dept! send the template!
Random guy from the Ad Dept: "Sir 20 by 30 ad in the bottom, and one on the name of our paper"
Editor: " Arrey!!! Send the template! I dont care if there is no news on the front page also.. send the template!"

6:45 PM, Newspaper Bureau. (After a short break of tea, biscuits,  cigarettes and interesting conversation)
Editor: "Send the Template! "
Sub-ed 2: " Sir! I got the template! call a meeting we will start off the design"
Editor: (Shouts): "MEETING"!

6:50 PM, Newspaper Bureau.
Editor: "yes, what stories do we have for the front page?"
Reporter 1: "Sir, a peaceful protest in the capital turned violent after police used tear gas and lathi charge. We live in a democracy sir, the rights have been curtailed"
Reporter 2: "Sir an update on the gang-rape victim. She gave a statement!"
Reporter 3: (Crime beat) "couple of suicides and some kidnapping, No front page stuff sir"
Reporter 4: " Facebook has new application sir"
Reporter 5: " Report on Nuclear power plant, and the Russian Presidents Visit"
Reporter 6: " Cricketer retired sir"
Editor: "Oh! its already 7, We have some good stories today, nothing much to be discussed, we will put the most important three on the front page"
Sub-eds/ Reporters" "yes sir"

7:05 PM , Newspaper Bureau
Paper is sent for printing.

7:05 AM,  Some random house in the neighborhood, Coffee accompanied by Newspaper
FRONT PAGE- Top Story: "Cricketer Bids adieu" (in bold red letters, along with photos and stats)
                         Second Story: "Protest turn violent" (a small 3 column story)
                         Bottom Story: "Facebook gets a new app" (in Colour, with graphics)

Dilemma..

With the recent incidents of rape in New Delhi and other places, the internet and the media has seen an outrage of protests, debates and rallies to urge the government to do something, something drastic about this problem.

It is a good thing to see that people are engaging themselves, and are using all the media possible to curtail this evil. it is high time the government takes action to make our streets safer.
I support these protests with all my heart. I always think of a state where citizens (men, women or others) have the liberty to walk on the streets at any time of the day/night, without any fear. That is the responsibility of the Government to make sure that the citizens are safe. If I want to enjoy a casual walk in the pristine starry night, I would want to do it. The police (the government) needs to make sure I am safe, not questioned and harassed. I would not hold the police responsible if a snake bites me, or if a dog chases me. Robbers, rapists, drunken drivers, and eve teasers are what I want to be protected from.

The Government might argue, that if one needs protection from all those things, they better stay indoors. This is  a curtailment of a fundamental right to move. Do keep in mind they might suggest the same if someone is mugged in broad day light.

The protests which followed these incidents (and which follow every other incident also) , address the punishment for the crimes committed. The people feel  as the punishment is not severe enough, these incidents continue to happen. I do agree that the punishment delivered, is so late that it hardly creates an impact. The government needs to buck up on this.
But what about the kind of punishment? Capital punishment seems to be in the minds of many people. Is this really right?

I being a man, will never know the agony, pain, embarrassment or any emotion that a woman feels when she is teased, groped or raped. From the instances i have read, from the millions of instances that my friends have narrated, getting back to normal after such incidents is very tough and most of the times impossible. It permanently scars the life of a woman.

The intention behind punishing someone, is to make him realize his/her mistake. When one is sentenced to death, it might show the society what lies in store if they commit a crime. But for the culprit it might be a relief. Killing of a human is the most heinous of acts. When the law awards death penalty, aren't we stooping to the same level as the criminals? One cant differentiate "killing". If an individual does it its Murder, if a country does it its War and if "killing" is done legally its Capital Punishment.

This is an extremely delicate issue. The culprit cannot go unpunished. Personally I feel, capital punishment is not the answer. I might not even know the alternatives, as torture seems equally inhuman. Guilt, is something the law can play on. Guilt has the ability to punish a human physically and mentally. Wish it was that easy. What if the culprits have grown over guilt? which is true in many cases. As I finish this blog, my mind is still unclear. I cannot support capital punishment, but I know criminals cannot be let free..
May be, as I have been thinking about this for a long time, one day I shall write again... hopefully without a dilemma.

Third Eye goes Mythological

Karna of Kaliyuga.

Third eye looks at the rebellious Banglore!

Bangloreans Rebel without a cause! and in all the wrong places! in all the wrong ways! I am saying this not as an outsider but as a Mysorean (Mysoreans and B'loreans share a very convoluted Love-hate relationship)

Stereotyping on the front page

During my masters, I had studied stereotyping in  society and how it has spread to the media as well. In this patriarchal society that we live, stereotypes about women are  most common. Normal stereotypes are that they are emotional, weak, etc etc and not to forget the colour pink!

Although i kept an open eye to spot such stereotyping in the media, I got quite a shock a couple of days back.

The Deccan Herald, a popular newspaper, reported on October 19, about a situation in the Tiruvanathpuram airport. The headlines (front page , second story) read as below:

  "PANICKY WOMAN PILOT SCRIPTS HIJACK DRAMA"

I am sure that most of the readers just read the headline and went on to do their daily chores. But this headline has been troubling me for a while.

I raise the following questions. Was it necessary to mention that it was a woman? Would a "male" pilot be "panic free" in a hijack situation? Do the men receive special training?  Did the noun 'Pilot' require those two adjectives? If a male pilot had done the same would the headline read "Panicky Male pilot scripts hijack drama"? Who is creating the drama here, the newspaper itself?

This is how stereotyping gets stronger. I feel there was no need of both the adjectives in the headline.  Readers will seldom see the item as a situation faced by a pilot, but see it as a situation which occurred because the pilot was a woman! Headlines and reports of this kind provide validation for stereotypes and make them stronger pushing people to take decisions based on the same. This is detrimental to the society!

So please be aware of stereotyping, and the next time your about to board the plane, do check if the pilots are male, female or transgenders!!

When Logic takes on the Hulk!

Fortunately or unfortunately one more movie has come under my fire! The Incredible Hulk (2008) is  movie about the scientist Bruce Banner, who, thanks to a gamma ray experiment gone horribly wrong, transforms into a big green super human, whenever his pulse rate goes above a certain limit. In this part, Banner battles a soldier who tries to employ the same "accident" to become a super soldier, but ends up becoming a monster. A fine entertainer staring Edward Norton and Liv Tyler.
While watching this movie a couple of days back (watching it the nth number of time), logic suddenly struck my head. Now, while watching a Hollywood entertainer like this  one, it is advised to keep the brain aside and enjoy the movie. I did managed to do this for the first couple of times. But this nth time, my brain came alive like the Hulk himself.
Just before one of the most gripping parts of the movie, where Banner transforms into the hulk for the first time, he (when is still human) swallows a pen-drive, to protect it from getting into the wrong hands (read as the US Army, how ironic). After the transformation and a whole lot of action, banner regurgitates the pen-drive in the same solid state. This is where logic attacked my brain.
Firstly, the swallowing of the device happens sometime in the early evening and the regurgitation sometime in the late afternoon/early evening the next day. So the time elapsed is roughly 24 to 25 hours. In a normal human being, the complete process of digestion, from ingestion to excretion takes anywhere between 24 to 40 hours (approximate from what i remember of the science text books). So when Bruce Banner, pukes out the device after 24hours , it remains the same. No difference from when it had been swallowed. Now comes my favorite part, lets list the logical explanations for this.

1. The pen-drive cannot possibly be in the same state. The human digestive system has a lot of gasrtic juices and acids being produced continuously. We need to remember that Banner transforms into the hulk, and so does his digestive system. The strength of the gastric juices would also increase. So could the pen-drive be immune to such strong acids?

2. In the time lapsed, considering the amount of jumping, running and a whole lot of action, digestion wouldn't have stopped (not that it would if you sat still). Nor would the movement in the digestive tract. So in 24 hours Banner could not possibly regurgitated it but , on the contrary the device would be easier to extract from the opposite orifice.

3. A possible explanation would be, when Banner transforms into the Hulk, his digestive system might transform into one like the Ruminants. So the pen-drive would be safe in his rumen, and can be retrieved (pun intended) any time he wants.

4. the pen-drive was made up of Adementium (material of Wolverine's bones) (Yes this is logical)

5.  How did the data inside survive? are pen-drives water/gastric juice proof? It must contain some very complex data about materials and chemicals (again..pun intended)

So there it is. The things which came to my head when, i would like to put it as, "logic" hit my brain. The flip side to this line of thought was the thought which succeeded all of this. "My doltish brain did not find a man surviving huge amounts of radiation and running around illogical, but found the above piece  clashing with logic!"
Sad but true!

A paradox called language!

What is language? If one tries to search for the definition, it would be  'A body of words and the system for their use common to the people of the same community or nation, same geographical area or cultural tradition".
So language, is a system, bound by the obdurate rules of grammar. From the earliest of our schooling days, we are taught how to be within the boundaries of grammar, so that we become "good" speakers and writers of the same. But language is not static. It keeps on changing. So does the boundaries.Paradox.
The primary purpose of language is to communicate. So even if differences lie in between a sender of a message and a receiver of the same, if the message is correctly conveyed then the purpose is served. But these differences , when unleashed may lead to complete chaos as one cannot understand another person. Thus language remains quintessential. Paradox.
We as children are taught language, for it to be precise and so on. Then the same teacher takes the students into the world of poetry and talks about "poetic licence" and how the language is twisted, turned and modified. But when we see a board like the one posted above, its bad language! Paradox.
To conclude language is a dynamic system of contradictions and paradoxes, every one is forced to learn and unlearn, as dynamically as the language itself.
Of the three languages i know, i forgot to mention one paradox. English. 

Third Eye..blinks..

Ladder inspired by the Moon walk
" Three small steps to mankind...one gaint leap for life"

Third Eye...

Producing "Knock out" Pugilists since 1935! 

Road to the future

The year is 2050. The city of Bangalore is no where close to what was once called as the garden city. Although there has been considerable loss of greenery in this city, in the past five decades, it still has pockets of vegetation left. All the gardens have now moved on to the terraces.
The roads of Bangalore , infamous as always for the rash unpredictable traffic, has also multiplied for the worse. Road accidents are more common than tree felling which is a daily affair here. Hospitals, which once had Trauma and emergency now have a separate department right in the front of their buildings, dedicated only for road accidents. The situation looks bleak. The mentality of the motorists of the city has not changed.
They want to go, and go fast. Take the turn first. Overtake whatever, whenever and however! Roads are optional, footpaths are speedways. the honk is more important than the brake. Adding to this mentality is the ever increasing number of people taking to the roads everyday, with machines which have potential atom bombs as their engines!
At such a time, Gopal Ram, a zoology major in college, IAS topper and efficient administrator took charge of the Road transport ministry. His first task on the agenda was to reduce the road accidents. Using his zoology background he put forth an idea. He proposed that every vehicle in the city would be fitted with a detection system like bats, which would stop the vehicles before collision. An ultra sensitive radar which would avoid accidents in most cases. The idea was revolutionary and was passed as a bill. In-foe-sys , a company owned by the then chief minister's brother in law, came forward to produce the radar system. And with a little help from the Germans, they devised a exceptionally accurate and powerful device with the ability to stop the vehicle if it came "extremely" close to another. A massive drive exercised by the ministry made sure all the vehicles were fitted with these devices by August 15 2050. And they did it.
Today, August 15 2050, the road got its independence.
ALL 7 million vehicles of Bangalore are stalled on the roads, unable to move.
I am on what was once called Hosur road... and I know I got miles to walk before i sleep, miles to walk before i sleep...

The Beauty of the Future

As my exams have concluded, I have a lot of time (not that i don't otherwise). When there is a lot of free time the TV does take up some share of the 'free time' cake! Once a great man said, "An idle mind in not a Devils workshop, but is in front of the TV". During my television viewing marathon, i saw an advertisement that showed a special deo which actually makes your under arms whiter/ fairer! It hard to believe but its true. Now correct me if im wrong but aren't deo's supposed to just cut off the smell?
Apparently not. So the new formula of a hybrid, unbelievable underarm fairness cream+ good fragrance+ aerosol = Deo of 2012!
With my experience with marketing, whatever i studied of it, tells me product innovation and foresight are quintessential for the success of a business. Theodore Levitt has already warned us about Marketing Myopia. So I thought of some of the products for the future that P&G, Unilever or Body Shop can use to make mad moolah! (Any such product, if introduced into the market , must remit 3% of the sales to me!hope this disclaimer helps)
Here goes - A list of beauty products of the future!

1. Shampoo de hypertrichosis :(for men only) This amazing shampoo with 3 quarters moisturizer and soya proteins enriches and protects your "ear hair" from root to tip, giving it a shine and strength it always required! Say bye-bye to ugly, unruly ear hair and say Hello to smooth silky ear locks!!!

2. Creme de white toes : (Unisex) A revolutionary product right out of the P***ds lab, to make sure you will never face the awkward moment of someone seeing the skin between your toes! This cream whitens the area using silver extracts and Ginger oil to make those neglected parts of your body pearly white.

3. Hair de Nose dye: (unisex) Yes we have seen funky hair colour, funky hair styles and funkier hair cuts! Why not funky nose hair!? Stop trimming them and start colouring them. Extracted from flowers of amazon , try out the Tangy Blue, Orchid red, or the most common Mushy mucus!!

4. Brylcream Brow risers: (aimed at men...)For years brylcream has quenched the thirst of the hair needs of men. Now it goes one step lower! A perfect mix of coconut oil and milk cream, this gel can not only style your eyebrows (not to mention Unibrows) but nourish them too!

5. Underarm wash : yes there is facewash, handwash...why not underarm wash!! This is a multi purpose wash which exfoliates(ouch!), cleanses, removes ingrown hair, prevents germ build, prevents odor, makes them fair, attractive and last but not the least causes skin cancer. People would be ready to take a chance!! This soap is made from natural extracts from pumice stones and salts from the pure sweat of yaks in the Himalayas! Indulge in an underarm fantasy!!


So there it is, a glimpse of the future. Beautiful isn't it?
( I have nothing against the French, but Paris being the fashion capital i thought the brand names would sound real )

5 things a Post-modernist cannot do!!

Philosophy is as interesting as it can get boring. But what if we see philosophy with a touch of comedy and laugh. It might not be the same. So here is my attempt to plant the seed of thought through some really unconventional means.
So what are the five things that a post modernist cannot do? (here goes one more list!!)
1. A post modernist can never play Truth or dare. Or he can but he will always choose the dare, as there is no one truth in his view! it might get boring without the juicy truths.

2. Never participate in money making game shows like 'The moment of truth' or 'Sachh Ka Samna'. The criteria for the show itself bans these people because of the multiple truths they believe in, and they sure will win! And Sony corp is not so rich to just give every post modernist a million dollars.

3. Be a Rotarian. No, that is not happening in a post-modernist's life, as the first guideline for a Rotarian is ' Is it the truth?'. With that question our post modernist friend will be stumped!

4. Under go a narco analysis . If there is no single objective truth, is there any use of the whole procedure?!

5. Pinocchio's nose in the post modernist world would not grow( how boring is that ). If there is no single objective truth, Pinocchio never lies. Which implies that there will be no growing noses. which equates to a boring story(damn this philosophy!)
There you go, What i have given is what a post modernist cannot do. My next post will be the things he CAN do. You can then decide whether post modernism is your cup of tea or not! Till then keep drinking coffee.

Third eye - Forever

Rebel without a cause!

Third eye - returns

I dont think the anti dust coating this guy endorses is of any good.the car below the board needs some dusting! Any one ready for TAPLON coat??

Perception of the powerful patriarch

It is a common thing that one hears about the society being patriarchal, men pulling the strings and parading their dominance. However this feeling of being the more dominant and more powerful sex is not a superficial force. This has been etched in the minds of men and women alike due to centuries of domination.
In our society (by 'our' society, I mean a society which is supposedly 'modern') we do not see this domination or the effect of it directly. it is subtle and subverted but equally powerful. One recent incident, which gave me quite a shocker, made me realise how powerful the image of a "powerful patriarch" the all providing demi-god is in the minds of commoners.
It was just another summer night in Manipal. We were tying banners around the town for an upcoming event of our college. Our laughs (which sounded more like monstrous howls) was eclipsed by a shrill voice of pain and fear. What we saw was a woman fallen on the road and a man throwing punches and slaps at her. Without second thoughts we ran towards the rumble. The man, shouting that he was her husband ran as soon as he saw five boys running towards him. We did catch him and took him to the police station which was hardly a furlong away. Some threats and a couple of swings from the lathi, they were let go. They were construction workers, both husband and wife. On the way back we kept a close look on them as they crossed the road.
What happened next was unbelievable! The husband picked up a wooden club (some remnant in a construction site) ready to give his wife a royal showdown. This time we ran , shouting violently (this is the nearest I had got to a war cry). My friends started a verbal rant which is impossible to publish (but he deserved it). While this showdown was going on , one guy slightly taller than the husband entered the scene with a helpless look. we had seen him during the couples fight on the road. He looked like a body builder right out of the garadi . One punch from this guy to your stomach would solve all your problems, as you wouldnt be alive to face them. The real shocker was when we came to know this guy was the couples son, who was a mute spectator till now, as he feared his dad who, in front of him looked like a puny animal!!
Need i have to say more, that is the perception of the powerful patriarch!

Asimov at his best!!

I prefer rationalism to atheism. The question of God and other objects-of-faith are outside reason and play no part in rationalism, thus you don’t have to waste your time in either attacking or defending
Isaac Asimov (1920-1992)

Quote

"Television is the hardware to introduce the software of Capitalism"
K V Akshara


K V Akshara, the present head of Ninasam, a theatre group in Heggodu, Karnataka, is a playwright/writer.

Sports as Art

Ever since our beloved cave man, decorated his caves with paintings, people started to have a debate as to what art was. They gave different definitions, artists tried to explain this abstract yet very real phenomenon called art in their own way. Centuries have passed but we still are not sure. We, humans are sure that we can go to the moon, but aren't sure of what art is!
Some of the common definitions include art being a form of expression. The piece of art actually takes second place while expression is primary. For some, art is about the form, the shape, colour, structure of the piece. I wont write much about these, because all the answers you need are just a tab(Ctrl T)
Taking all these definitions into consideration, Can sports( all included..even golf!!!) be considered art?
I believe it is, every sport is art and every sportsman an artist. Taking the view of an expressionist, sports is an expression of strength, agility,speed, flexibility of ones body.For a formalist, sports is poetry in motion. The body is the canvas and the game is the paint.
Like any other fine art, a good sports man has intrinsic talent and developed skill. It needs a lot of practice.
Art has no boundaries. It crosses the barriers of language, races, religions and age. So does sports. Put a football (To all the ignorant Americans, its a soccer ball)in middle of a group of strangers, and within seconds the game is on. it bring people together, just like art.
Our sports commentators already consider it an art( not commenting, but sports).The adjectives used to describe sport moves are the same one you would hear in an art gallery , a concert or a dance performance. Graceful, strokes, tempo, consistency etc etc
We have seen artists, musicians and poets turning to intoxicants to get their muse or create a magnum opus. Sports is no different Ben Jhonson and Marion Jones turned to intoxicants to "increase their expression".
Sports thus is an art form. it is a form which the public can involve easily. So i end, as i need to put my artist cap and go shoot some hoops.

About the other side..

A one handed shot on equality
Photo courtesy: Supreet J Bargi


There are the ones who speak, and then there are the one who actually experience. Most of the times the one who voices out is stronger. Or so it is believed. One requires immense strength to experience and still keep everything in. Living in oppression, for a eras together, women have always experienced, and not until recently, the men always spoke. But can the "stronger" sex actually help the "weaker" ones?
From time immemorial, crime, justice, conquests, money have always been spoken and documented. These documents were recorded by people who not necessarily experienced or had any direct relation to them. So we build our history on information not from the people who lived, but from people who saw.
And they say, history repeats, so has the second hand documentation. newspaper reports, TV exclusives, special debates on problems of women and the inequality among sexes, fills our media space. A space no different from our patriarchal society. So a man discusses problems of women, he sometimes voices out for them (thought the trend has changed a little, it is very minimal).
How useful is this effort by a person who is in his comfort zone, "understands" the problem of the second sex? Is it really an effort to strike a balance? Should the ladies take the helping hand meted out to them? from the oppressors themselves? Is it just a one handed effort? How near/far are we to equality?

Want directions??

India has been a place of spirituality for many westerners. They travel to this land to find peace and direction in their lives. Whether they find peace or not is secondary, but directions they will find many! For a traveller who has roamed around the sub continent would tell, you would seldom lose your way, as your never far away from a living, air breathing GPS.
We Indians have unlimited enthusiasm for giving directions. All we need is for a place name and a question to fall into our ears, and we will become cartographers the next instant. The beauty of our directions is that we do not tell the travellers just the route, but also the places he will see while taking that route, sign boards, buildings, circles and traffic signals. We overload the traveller already heavy backpack with so much info that he is almost hypnotised to take the orders. But do we stop there? No, we won’t. We might be Indians but we are Humans before that, so curiosity does take over us and in the myriad of directions we give, we manage to drop a question or two on where the traveller is coming from or where he is heading next. Sometimes when we our enthusiasm sky rockets we also tend to be city guides or travel agents, suggesting places for the wanderers next step.
Personally i feel a sense of pride in this quality. We don’t want people to lose ways and spend their travel in gyrating alleys and by lanes! From whatever little of India I have seen, language is never a barrier. The directions, though mostly vocal, are adorned with hand movements, gestures and sometimes even sounds. As I said before we are never far from a helping hand.
The thought does cross my mind, where I feel whether this quality is Indian or is it Human? Is it the same in the sign-board filled streets of the “developed” west? For now let it be Indian, once I travel the world I will tell you whether it is an intrinsic human quality or not!

Gauntlet for Knights on Steel Steeds

The state of Rajastan has the pink city as its capital. The city of Jaipur is adorned with magnificent buildings having a history of centuries. From the literally "breath" taking Hawa Mahal to the sublime Amer Fort. Jaipur is one of the must see places in this country.
Adding to the heritage of the city are the brave Knights on steel steeds, commonly found on the streets of this historic city. Born into royalty these knights are found on a variety of stallions. Namely
1. A sturdy two wheeler
2. A quadracep driven, three wheel chariot
3. A smoke bellowing three wheel war horse
4. Four wheel enclosed chariots
5. Finally Actual horses/ donkeys/ cows/ camels/ elephants.
Let me make it clear these things are not part of you "city tour" attractions. These are real. As the roads of jaipur are not mere roads. They are a video gamers' dream and disciplinarians' nightmare!
Looking at the traffic of the city, through the lenses of a sportsman, there are two rules. Just two!
1. Wear a helmet (pillion included) if you are on a 2 wheeler
2. Seat belts are a must for a car driver.
If you satisfy these two conditions, you are ready to take on the tarmac of jaipur. That is if you dare to! Let me return to my expertise of making a list, Here are the 5 things you wont( probably shouldn't ) do on the roads of Jaipur.
1. Ride your vehicle.
2. Ride your vehicle following traffic rules.
3. Cross the road.
4. Try crossing the road
5. Use the phrase "lets hit the road"!
If not for gravity, motorists of jaipur would have taken their mean machines over buildings, pillars, palaces and even people. It is the most synchronized chaos you will ever see.Vehicles move in from all directions and move out of all the remaining directions. Red need not mean 'Stop', it can connote a) Accelerate with all power, b)Turn without any indication c) Keep your normal pace and cross the junction. The traffic system is so specialized that they have special lanes for overtaking. Yes Germany take notes , these are called footpaths!
The roads of Jaipur are not for the faint hearted. With all due respects, this is one city where even if Ray Charles drove a limo , it wouldn't make any difference nor would it cause any accidents!
So buckle up and hold those reins tight! There is a lot to see in Jaipur, if you survive the streets! ** Ends with War Cry **