Sunday, January 12, 2014

How to change a Light bulb in London

There have been a lot of jokes on how many people are required to change a light bulb. But seldom has anybody described the place where its been changed. So here, in this post, where I try to be as electrifying as the English weather, shall explain the mundane process of changing the light bulb in London.

Although my insatiable need to list is trying to overpower me, I shall show my rebellion by not numbering this list.

Nice weather, isn't it ? (Couldn't start a list on London without weather talk)

At the unfortunate moment of the death of a light bulb, go buy another one.

Send out an e-mail to all the residents of the building stating that a bulb would be changed in the building at the prescribed time. Apologize for the inconvenience.

Send out an e-mail to all the residents of neighboring buildings stating the same. Apologize for any noise that might be caused.

Send out an email to the local NHS General Practitioner stating you would be undertaking this task.

Remember this is the city of London, so before changing bulb, erect a scaffolding to the building.

Put out sign boards in bright orange that say "Bulb changing in process" , "Men at work" , "No Smoking" and just in case "Cyclist Dismount".

Divert the pedestrians.

Stop the Bakerloo and Central Lines. Apologize for the inconvenience.

Announce there would be delays in the Central and Circle Lines. Apologize.

Wear fluorescent safety jacket, a white safety helmet, Safety goggles, safety gloves and steel-toe boots.

Climb the ladder and change the bulb.

Take the old bulb to the dustbins. Spend a good ten minutes reading the boards which tell you what items go into the different colored bins. Dispose the bulb in the right bin. (This normally ends with a euphoric feeling of "I have done the right thing, I saved the planet" )

Return to your building.

Invite your mayor, Boris Johnson to switch on the new bulb. Invite some from the Royal Family too. (Daily Mail and The Evening Standard will follow)

CLICK

ppppsssshhhhhtttttttttt...





Apologize.

Repeat procedure from the beginning.




3 comments:

sumi said...

am I blessed to be in India??!!!!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

This is hilarious. How can I share this?